“Line of Duty”

Eleanor Roosevelt once stated that, "People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." To be quite frank, I don't know whether to believe in this particular quote. It was just a few days ago that two fellow officers in Florida were gun downed by criminals and were killed in the line of duty. Those are the people that have real character; not for their honesty, but for their bravery and strength. I commend the women and men that give their lives to make our city a better place; for our children and children's children. Without police officers today, our city would result in chaos all over. To fully understand a police officer we must comprehend the depths that he or she may take during the hours of their shift. We are all human beings and the moment we stop acting like human beings we will lose our character. According to my research there has been a total of five police officers in Florida that have died, four of which were gun down and the other officer was the cause of a heart attack. For the families that were left behind, children, brothers, sisters, husbands, and wives; my sincere sympathy. I have once experience grieve long ago, but nothing compares to yours right now. I know words of sorrow don't make the feelings you feel any better; however, the one thing I knew I could always rely on was the memories I've shared. Memories will always and forever stay within your heart and no one can take that away from you. The police officers that risk their lives have regretfully died during the line of duty; but also a part of their loved ones died as well, that is the true tragedy that we has humans do not realize. Once a criminal kills an officer, you're not just murdering the police officer; you're murdering their loved ones too. That is the accurate meaning of line of duty.

Written By: Amanda V Rodriguez

“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”

Does a person have the right to be a homosexual and fight for our country? Homosexual men and women had been hiding in the shadows at one point so many years ago and now there are so many homosexuals that speak up to fight for those who can't. I fight for those who can't speak; however, I am not a homosexual. I personally would like to be called a woman and I know that the homosexual men and women out there would like to be addressed the same. To be quite honest, we are all human beings that have feelings; whether gay or straight. So why homosexual men and woman can't fight; my money is that they don't want someone with that kind of sexual orientation to represent their country. Well, I say screw them, who cares whether you're gay or straight. A person is a person and according to God if anyone believes in a God, he states that every person should be treated equally. I am not much of a religious believer, but I do think that is the right way to follow. How can we as human beings say that you cannot be gay to fight for our country? When in fact wanting to fight in the first place shows how much character they have. I say stand and fight, not just for our country but yourselves. For all the men and women that are gay and soldiers of our country I salute you, not just for your bravery, but for your profound dignity and strength. You've kept your secret long enough and it's time to stop fighting for us, so we can fight for you.

"Storyline"

There is a quote by an American actor named James Dean that means a great deal to how I see my life. It goes like this, "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." In the beginning of my life, I dreamt that I had the absolute perfect family; or so I thought.Everyone thinks their life is how they think it is until something occurs. The way I realized my life isn't perfect began with my mother's demise, on March 17th, 2000. I remember that whole day and night like it was yesterday. It was a Friday, a normal school day, pretty much like any other day; unfortunately, later that night became the worse beginning of a never ending pain. My mother picked me from school at the usual time in her little blue punch buggy and drove straight home. Its not like it was too far since my school was across the street anyways, but I was too young to walk by myself. My father was still at work, during that time he wouldn't get home till like 7 or 8PM. My brother and sister got home before me since their school has an earlier release. I notice my sister and her friends were in the pool so I join them. It was nice because I could always have fun with them. I was telling them how I had a party to go to that day with my best friend at that time. My sister and her friends dressed me up and I looked pretty, but I didn't end up going. My best friend's mom said she didn't want her to go because she had a bad feeling. Since my best friend and I made a promise that we wouldn't go any where without each other, that's why I didn't go. My sister and her friends were on the other side of the house getting ready to go out, my brother, Alex, was in his room playing Pokemon, and my eldest brother, VJ, was in the computer room which was in my mom's room. My mom was in the closet when she collapsed on the floor, apparently she was trying to reach for something. In her condition she wasn't supposed to do anything of the sort, what my mother had was some kind of heart condition due to diet pills called, "FIN FIN". She was taking those pills to lose weight for my father. I know this because I read her diary after her death until my father took it away from me and now he claims he doesn't know where it is. My eldest brother was the one that found her on the floor and screamed for help. I was in my room when I heard the scream, I thought I heard, "Vivi's not breathing". Once I open my door, I saw my sister run right through the hallway and I was like Vivi's perfectly fine. I started to walk to my mother's room and I couldn't believe my eyes. My mother was on the floor, eyes rolling back, tongue hanging out, and urine all over the floor. Once someone has a heart attack, I've heard how they can lose all motor functions. Doctor's have mentioned its normal during an event like that, but seeing that for your own eyes and its your mother there is nothing normal about that. I was in utter shock, I was actually on the phone with my best friend at the time when I witness that. She freaked out because I started to pour out tears and I kept repeating, "My mom, My mom." I didn't know what to do after that. My sister's friend was calling 911 for the ambulance to arrive. It felt like they took forever to get there or maybe it was me. You know how people say when you do something you love time flies by so fast, but when you're doing something you hate time takes forever like an hour may seem like 5 hours. My sister tried to revive my mom back by giving her CPR, I don't know in full detail what was happening because I wasn't allowed to be the room. I just know my sister was trying everything she possibly could, like she just didn't want to give up and my eldest brother VJ was trying to help as well. I remember hearing him scream and yell at my mother saying, "Mom, come back!" The ambulance finally got to my house with everything to help my mom. You see things like this in movies, but at age 12 hardly ever, it kind of felt unrealistic to me. My sister was panicing, something I've never ever seen in my life. She is someone that I know to be strong and doesn't normally express her feelings. At that moment it was new for me to see, she looked like she was about to faint when the EMTs was trying to bring my mother back. They had to force my mother's breathing, since she couldn't do it on her own. I was with my sister's friends, they were taking care of me and calming me down since I was still shaken up. My father finally got there and I remember I ran straight into his arms. I noticed his face and how frighten he was, he was about to cry but held back his tears because he knew if he cried then that would scare me even more. It was 10 something at night when the EMTs finally took my mother to the hospital, my father and my sister left to go. My brothers and I stayed at home to wait for any news, whether she was alive or gone forever. Sadly, I got the news around 12 something AM once my uncle and two cousins got to my house. I didn't know they were coming over and I surely did not expect it. Once I open the door my cousin Roger was bursting in tears I know his face gets red when he cries, but that night was the redest I ever seen. I asked why was he crying, like silly me how could I possibly not know my mother had died and no body told me. Roger went to see Alex in his room, my uncle was in the kitchen with VJ, and I went to my room with Chantal. I realized at that moment when I kept asking why was he crying with no response back that something was wrong. Chantal asked me, "You don't know do you," and I was like, "Know what." She told me, but while she was telling me its like I didn't want to here it I fell straight to the floor. Chantal took off to the kitchen and then I heard my eldest brother VJ scream out, "NO!!" I knew right there for sure what I heard from Chantal wasn't just a nightmare, it was reality, it was my reality now. A life to grow up with no mother, a world to comprehend with no mother to tell me nor protect me. I started to walk towards the kitchen as I see VJ with his face all red and in tears, I started to say in a low soft voice, "No, No, Not Mom...Not our Mom." Once I said that VJ just grabbed me followed by Alex coming from behind me embracing us. We all were just sobbing in tears screaming out, "MOM COME BACK! MOMMY, DON'T GO!" My brothers and I weren't very much huggers growing up, but that night we hugged each other as if we couldn't let each other go. My mother died at 11:35PM according to the hospital time of death. I remember going outside in the backyard looking at the moon just trying to make wish. I was trying to wish this day to never happen; however, a wish is just a wish and they don't work not even for a little girl that wished for her mother to come back. Once my brothers and I ended our hug, I went to bed; I guess in my mind if I'm a sleep I can't feel the pain or cry. I just wanted to stop crying and feeling that pain, it felt like a sharp stomach pain. My sister and dad came home, but I only saw my sister because she came in to check on me. I woke up and saw her and I asked her, "Is she really gone?" My sister replies back, "Yea, Mandy she is," while a few tears came down her face. I went back to sleep, I was hoping it was just a nightmare. The night of her death was done and gone and the following days came by like if nothing happen, but the only thing missing was my mom. She was gone and all is left is her memory. A memory that I shall always cherish and appreciate.

As I wrote my storyline of my deepest tragedy, I cited a quote from James Dean. I hope now after reading my post, you may understand why it means alot to me. No one seems to comprehend that life is short and your last breath could end at any given moment. So thats why I say live life to the fullest as I do. I am now 22 years old, happily in a relationship and going to school full-time to study Psychology. I don't drink nor smoke, I live with my grandparents(My mother's parents), and on weekends I come to my fiance's house. I know, I know. You're probably wondering if I have such happy life as I say I do then why tell my story. I am using this blog as a way to vent out my emotions and speaking about such things that I can't normally talk about to anyone else. I heard that talking about it is good for the soul, so lets see how my soul feels tomorrow.